I'm having kind of a Yoga down right now. It is because of my old hamstring injury - a never-ending story. During the last two or three months it has changed so much and became so good again ... I really had hope, I really thought 'ok, that was it, it has gone, I'm over it'. I've had so much patience, you know, I have been suffering from it for 1,5 years. And I worked so much to improve it, to heal it. For two months at the beginning of this year I haven't practiced Ashtanga Yoga at all, I only did exercises for strengthening the backs of the legs, gentle stretching, taking care all the time, everything just to come over this problem. And slowly, very slowly it started working, it got better, there were also setbacks, but all in all it really got better and the peak of this development has been reached about three weeks ago. At this time I could practice with (almost) no need of variations and didn't have any uncomfortable feeling in the hamstrings. But it seems that always when I reach this point I immediatly start overdoing the practice. It must be so otherwise I can't explain why it is again this bad.
Ok, two weeks ago there was this weekend workshop with Andreas Schnittger - which was great by the way, I have to tell you about it another time - during the workshop I practiced full primary and the beginning of intermediate. And on the tuesday after the workshop again full primary in a Mysore class. Obviously this was too much. Since then my hamstrings hurt again, I cannot do most of standing positions without pain and so on. I could cry.
I have to struggle with myself very hard to see this still as a task, as a chance for learning and developing. Of course you can see it this way, you always learn a lot in a situation when your body does not work the way you want it to work. On the one hand you can try to change your body, but first of all you have to change your mind. Ok, I see it this way, but nevertheless I am sad, disappointed, frustrated ...
It is like you are running, running, running and you can almost bite into the carrot but everytime you close your mouth you see that the carrot is again a mile ahead.
I even had thoughts like 'perhaps this style of Yoga is not for me, is not for my body, perhaps my body is not appropriate for Ashtanga Yoga' and so on. But I cannot think about quitting Ashtanga Yoga seriously. No. It is a too big part of my life. And I want to come over this damn hamstring problem! Stopping now would be giving up.
So, again I start working. And it will go on and on and on. And perhaps some day I will have strong, flexible hamstrings ... and perhaps I will not. I think I have to make friends with this thought.
This is a new thought I learned from Andreas at the workshop: There are people who are practicing primary for their lifetime. And it is enough, it is good. I'm used to thoughts like 'I have to practice so that I can go on, so that I can finish primary and move to intermediate' and so on. But this is not the point. It is the practice and not what we practice. And if we are constrained in any way - may it be time or age or health - perhaps we will never finish primary. And this would be absolutely ok.
I think I have to get used to that kind of thinking.
I'm sorry for this whiny post.
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3 comments:
I am sorry for your injury...it seems I am reading and hearing more and more about injuries people are aquiring through this practice. I guess I have been lucky..but with my fitness background and training there is one thing that I learned that stuck with me even after 32 years. That is "Variety". It is a good idea to break up your ashtanga practice with other forms of exercise, because there is a thing called "over use injuries" and that is, doing the same thing over and over again every day, day in and day out..your body is more prone to injuries.
You just might want to incorporate something new and along with your practice and see what that brings! You just might be pleasantly surprised..and your injury might heal as well~
Good Luck to you!
don't worry! this very common hamstring injury often lasts as long as yours has, but it does go away. Icing after practice can help with the acute pain. Definitely take a mental and physical break from yoga if you need it.
When you feel ready to return to the asana practice gently, to practice safely, start every pose with extremely bent legs, then go from more-bent to a little less-bent and really press through the big toes as you do so (keeping a bend in the back of the knee!). Really work this action throughout all of your standing poses. You may have to practice the prasarita padotanasas and all forward bends with very bent legs, but never mind. What postures do you feel it in the most?
When coming out of prasarita padotanasa, walk your legs closer together before coming up.
in all forward bends, bend the knees a lot, then slowly straighten and press into the big toe and feel the inner leg working all the way up into mula bandha. This bending and straightening will reset the pose and stretch your hamstrings evenly. Notice in seated postures that it can be easy to let the leg totally straighten in the earth--you'll have to work a little harder for awhile, keeping both legs slightly bent and actively pressing away with the big toes/big toe mounds.
if you do practice the first few poses of intermediate, salambasana is a good posture for this hamstring situation, practice it regularly to strengthen the hamstrings.
I know the situation can feel hopeless, but many of us have been through this exact thing and with help, found out how to work with and finally, beyond it.
good luck!
Thank you for encouraging me, it feels good.
@Tracy: This is an interesting thought, that you are more prone to injuries if you are doing the same every day. Hm, guess this is right. Definitly I have to put some variation in my practice. At the workshop I also learned that it is ok to practice only certain parts of the series even if they are not in the correct order. It sounds very reasonable to practice more different things.
@Karen: Thank you very much for the good advice. I will take it to the heart in my practice. Most difficult poses are indeed Prasarita Padottanasana and Trikonasanas. I have to take very much care in those poses.
Good to hear that it is possible to go beyond it.
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