Achievement

The depression is over, the hamstrings calmed down again and I returned to my normal Ashtanga practice. Of course the hamstrings are still the critical point - probably they will remain it for the rest of my life - but it is ok. I can practice without pain, I'm totally satisfied with it.
I wonder if I can manage to stay within my limits this time. Often I don't understand myself when it comes to this point. I know, it is not about the poses, the poses are not what really matters ... I can tell this to myself 1000 times but the next time when I am in Prasarita Padottanasana surely I will ask myself when I will be able to touch the floor with my head. Is this attitude of achieving goals, bringing good performance etc. so deeply anchored in our selves that we barely can get rid of it? For me this is one of the hardest tasks in my practice. Letting go of thinking that I have to bring the head on the floor, that I have to bind my wrists, that I have to bring the chin on the shin ... Of course we want to see improvements, but the improvement does not come by pushing and pulling it will come by itself. All I have to do is practicing and waiting. Hard. I think it is so hard because we cannot influence it directly. With most other things in our lives great effort brings great benefit but Yoga teaches us something different: The great effort we have to put in is not that we try to push ourselves in a certain pose but that we try it slowly and every day.
Ok, I know it, hopefully I will remember in the next Prasarita Padottanasana.

We have the first snow here. Very calm winter atmosphere outside. It is nice because it makes the inside so cosy and warm. No need for going out today. It's just a lazy sunday at home.